How do you define success in life?
I used to think success was a great career with plenty of money in the bank. Enough money where I don’t have to look at price tags, and can just be like Ariana Grande in her song (7 rings) – where she says:
“I don’t mean to brag, but I be like …put it in the bag!”. 😄
I used to think success was owning a luxury car or having a decent sized house.
Eating at the finest restaurants, and being able to take trips anywhere and anytime.
My whole mentality has changed since I’ve gotten older and as I continue to get older.
These days, Success in life – looks different for everyone.
For me…..
Success is the fact that my kids have grown into such respectful, funny, amazing, smart and kind people.
Success is the fact that I never thought college was for me, but now – I hold two degrees in Criminal justice (with my minors being in Social work and Psychology) – and I’m thinking about going to law school.
Success is the fact that I’ve completely changed my life and I’m nothing like I was many … many years ago.
Success is the fact that I’m educated, responsible, reliable, and I’m able to help others in different ways.
Success is the fact that I have goals and hobbies, and some amazing friends in life.
Success is the fact that no matter how I feel – I keep going and I don’t give up.
I can define MY views on my own success in many different ways, but for others…..
Success may look different.
For others…. Success can be the fact that they’ve been sober for 10 days and don’t want to pick up another bottle. 🩵
For some….. success can be the fact that they didn’t take their own life today, even if they wanted to. They’re still alive and trying to fight for hope at the end of the night. 🩵
For some….success can mean filling out 20 job applications to get away from that dead end job they’re working on and unhappy with. 🩵
For some….success can be leaving a toxic relationship finally and really staying away from it this time. 🩵
For some….. success can be learning to drive, or cook. It can be learning a new language, or learning to forgive others who hurt them. 🩵
Success can come in the form of a high school graduate who used to get in trouble all of the time and finally decided to take high school seriously. 🩵
Success can be the mom or dad who played a bunch of board games with their kids, even though they’ve had a bad day, but didn’t let it show. It made the kids happy, even if the parent wasn’t. 🩵
That’s success!
I could go on and on, but success in life looks different for everyone, and I’m so proud of those who accomplish any kind of success – no matter what it is!
And if you need help to succeed in something….I’m here for you. Never be afraid to reach out to me because I’ll always be your biggest cheerleader.
I love seeing people do good in life, and seeing them succeed in anything they want to do. 😉
With that being said….
I put myself in time out recently and it was great! Haha.
Let me explain.
I’ve mentioned that I’ve been dealing with a lot and I have so much on my plate and on my mind lately.
I’ve had disappointment after disappointment for months now, and there’s just so much going on …that my mental and physical health are being affected.
My mind is all over the place, and I’m just drained. I’m mentally exhausted and my inner battery – (I guess you can joke around and call it) – was completely low. I had no energy and I just felt mentally drained.
On top of everything I’m dealing with and everything on my mind, I’ve been running around like crazy when it comes to appointments, and taking care of payments. When it comes to school events and projects for my little dude, and helping my older two with new jobs they start soon and trying to prepare everything for that.
One kid needs pants and he has a class Saturday for his new job, and the other needs shoes and has to be taken for her fingerprints to be done.
On top of everything on my mind, I’m the human calendar, and the chauffeur.
And I can’t forget to make sure my little dude brings his flute to school on Fridays because his class is learning to play in music. Oh….let me add his Minnesota float project to my human calendar memory. 🤣
On top of me working and running around for my own things – then – there’s doctor appointments, dentist appointments, and so on.
Bills need to be paid, and then there’s the decision to either move back to Minnesota or stay here in Illinois. One kid (my daughter) wants to go back to Minnesota where all her friends are, and my older son wants to stay in Illinois where his friends are, and where there’s more things to do.
My little dude doesn’t care where we live.
All of this is going on, and so many other things that are happening in my life right now …and I just don’t know which way “up” is. Which way the right way is and where to start to get everything back in order.
So, it finally all hit me at once and I realized I haven’t had a chance to slow down and take a breath in a while, and my energy was shot. My mind was shot. My whole body – my mind – my emotions – felt like they were all about to shut down.
They say you can’t pour from an empty cup right?
How do you pour into others or things that need to be done when you have nothing left to give. No more energy to give. You can’t think straight because you’re so overwhelmed and exhausted….and that’s how I felt recently.
So, I had a bunch of stuff to do the other day and I decided as I drove to run errands …. “NO! NO! I’m not doing it! You know what? I have to take care of myself for once!”.
I needed a break – emotionally. Mentally. Physically.
That night, I turned the car around and I drove to a parking lot where I could sit for a few minutes and book a hotel room online. Yep. I sure did. Just me.
I couldn’t pay for just a few hours, so I paid for the entire night and I went to the hotel and checked in.
I sat down for a few minutes in this beautiful suite I got, and just took a few deep breaths and listened to the silence.
It was wonderful.
I turned the T.V on in the living room and then I picked up my phone to Door dash myself my favorite meal.
Chicken Alfredo.
I also decided to get myself an Apple crumb dessert with Ice cream on top, and it was heavenly. 😌 I watched T.V. and ate in peace with nobody needing me at that moment. Nobody asking me a bunch of questions or anything.
I wasn’t worried about 1,000 other things at that moment.
I wasn’t allowing myself to think about anything that needs to be done or which kid needs what, or what bill needs to be paid at that moment.
I didn’t allow myself to think about what errands need to be taken care of – or what appointments need to be made. I didn’t let myself think about who needs to be taken where, or any school projects.
I just decided to take care of myself, and enjoy the few hours I’d be at this hotel.
I’ve been there before and any time we used to visit Illinois, we’d stay there many times for a few days. It’s super clean, and they have a little bar and grill downstairs with slot machines if you’re into that.
After eating…I turned the T.V. off in the living room area, and went to the bedroom with my huge king-sized bed. I laid down and watched the Chicago Bears kick butt and win. I watched the game in silence. I didn’t have the volume up, but I was at peace just taking care of myself and my energy for once.
I allowed myself to relax, and after the game …I fell asleep for an hour and it was amazing!
When I woke up, I just laid in bed (Those things are super comfortable at this hotel) 🤣 and I allowed myself to just take it easy.
When I knew I had to get back home… I got ready to leave, and I grabbed coffee before I checked out.
The elderly man who checked me out – was wondering why I paid for the entire night, but I was checking out the same night.
I smiled and told him how overwhelmed, stressed out, burned out and mentally exhausted I have been feeling and I joked that I had to put myself on time out for a bit and show myself some T.L.C. (tender loving care) or I was going to lose my mind.
He absolutely understood.
I said I just needed a few hours to regain my thoughts, recharge my mental battery, and pull myself together. He was so cool when he told me, “I promise you…. whatever it is you’re dealing with, you’re stronger than you think!”.
I wanted to cry and give him the biggest hug, but I didn’t.
I needed to hear that. 🥹
I was surprised how refreshed and recharged I felt on the drive home as I drank the coffee I grabbed on the way out and I am going to say that it is so important to take care of YOU when you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, burned out.
It is so important to put everything on hold, shut the world and everything / everyone out for just a few hours at least and reclaim your energy. Your mental health. Your thoughts.
It is so important to realize when you’re at the point of breaking down and needing to take a step back from everything and pour love and time into yourself. 🥰 It is so important to sometimes put yourself first and trust me when I say that is absolutely acceptable, okay and definitely should be a priority in your life….because as the saying goes (like I said before):
You can’t pour from an empty cup!
So, please take care of you as well and it is definitely okay to put yourself in time out – like I did.
Best few hours I’ve ever spent on myself!
Listen.
If you just go alone and get your nails and hair done or go grab a few books from the library, sit in your car or at a park and read alone …. do it if it recharges your energy and mental health.
If you just take a walk, or go work out at the gym and that recharges your energy and mental health….do it.
If you take a nap during the day, or take a long drive with music blasting and you know that it recharges your energy and mental health….do it!
Do anything that brings you happiness, peace and makes you feel like you can tackle the world and anything thrown your way, but please make sure when you’re feeling overwhelmed and burned out like I was ….you’re putting the world on pause when you need to, and do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself.
After those few hours of kicking my feet up, doing whatever I wanted to and taking time out for myself … I went home that night and got a good sleep.
The next morning, I felt so refreshed and ready to take on anything I needed to take on. Recharged.
I would have loved to stay all night, but those few hours still did something great for me and allowed me to just be still and at peace for a while. 💯
And with that
Christmas music is now on 93.9 Lite FM Chicago, and we listened yesterday (as we do every year) to them flip the switch. 🎁🎄 I giggled because Mariah Careys song (All I want for Christmas is you) – is usually the first song, so we thought it would be….but it was Run, Run, Rudolph!
Mariah Carey was the 2nd song they played. 🤣
The holiday season has officially started and Starbucks has their holiday menu out now.
Self love and care – I went and grabbed a Gingerbread latte this morning from Starbucks, sat in a parking lot and wrote this! 😄
Sometimes self care and love can be just grabbing a coffee and sitting in a lot alone writing.
I’ve promised myself to start taking care of myself first, because if I don’t have a full cup and I’m not my own priority….it’s going to be tough taking care of everyone else.
Which brings me to the fact that I plan to make a hair appointment soon because my hair is a hot mess and I haven’t had it professionally done in so long.
I’ve been so busy doing everything for everyone and putting myself last, so it’s time and at the end of this year – I’m going to prioritize it, and make sure I take breaks when I need to, put the world on pause when I need to recharge and allow myself the grace to put me on top of my list of things / people to take care of. ♥️
That is all for now my loves.
I feel so much better, and I hope you all have a great day and learn a lesson from this.
Mental health matters. YOU matter, and if you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t keep taking care of everyone else if you have no energy left to give.
Love you all.
Put yourself first!
Xoxo.
🥰Shel🥰