I don't apologize for this mess!

Hey there!

You can call me Shel.

I’m 44 currently.

I used to feel some type of way about getting older, but then I realized what a blessing it actual is. There are people out there who never had the chance to see an age beyond their 40’s, and once I thought of it that way, I learned that every year – every birthday – every age that goes up – is a celebration of life and a reason to be grateful. ❤️

So – about me:

I’m a mom of 4. I lost my oldest in a car accident with her girlfriend back in 2021, but whenever someone asks me how many kids I have, I always include her. She was once here, she is still in my heart, and she will always be included in my kid count. So, yes – I have 4.

Tiffanie “Jordan” would have been 26 this year. I know! I know! People look at me sometimes and get this look on their faces, as they tell me I don’t look old enough to have had a 26-year-old if she were still here.

I’ve had people tell me I don’t look old enough to have an almost 10-year-old, but I do. To those who compliment me in that way, you have no idea how thankful I am for you because I feel like I look my age. (ha!). So, yes – she would have been 26. My Frankie J. (Junior) is 23 currently, my Kailani is almost 18, and my Elijah – he’s the almost 10-year-old.

Motherhood is not a walk in the park, but if you’re a mother (or a parent at all) – you know that! It’s not always sunshine, rainbows and roses, and these kids drive me insane at times, but I love being a mother and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Being a mother of these kids have also gave me some hilarious, wild, weird, and sometimes – insane stories to tell. 🤔😁

I’m also a daughter of course – to two parents who are now with God.

I lost my dad in 2023 to Cancer, and my mom in 2024 to what we believe was a Heart-Attack.

I’ve tried my best not to think about the loss of either of my parents, and it’s hard not having my dad call me at the most random hours to just talk my ear off or tell me what my mom did to aggravate him each day, and it’s tough not having my mom call me – ask what I’m doing and talk to her about anything and everything like I used to, or having her call me and tell me how much my dad is aggravating her. (lol)

It’s tough not calling my dad and hearing him answer the phone with a “Yellow” – instead of “hello” – which always made my kids laugh, and it’s hard not calling my mom to vent, or laugh, or just to say, “I’m coming to get you!” and go on one of our wild adventures.

I miss all of that, but life must go on, and I believe spiritually – they’re still around – just like my oldest child and those we lost as the years have gone by. (Family and friends).

I’m a sister. I have one little brother – who everyone thinks is older when they meet us, so I call him my “Little big bro”. We still argue, disagree on things, and sometimes – don’t talk for months, unfortunately, but we always have funny things to tell each other, or just need to vent sometimes – so one of us will always make that call, and make the other one laugh.

Still, I’m tough on him and he knows that I don’t B.S. – or sugarcoat anything, so when he needs to hear the truth – I’m the one who makes it happen, and sometimes – he doesn’t like that, so that’s where our arguments and disagreements come into play. No matter what – he’s a huge part of me, and no matter how many arguments or disagreements we may have – he’s always going to be little bro, and I’m always going to be there if and when he needs me – talking to each other or not.

When it comes to our home – We have three animals. A dog (Scrappy) that belongs to my older son, a bunny (Looney) that belongs to my youngest daughter, and a cat (Simba) who was supposed to belong to my little dude because he kept asking me for a kitten – but over the years, I think it’s safe to say that Simba has become MY cat. Simba is attached to me, follows me around and I’ve become his person, as my little dude doesn’t really pay much attention to Simba these days. Oy. I never wanted a cat. I don’t even like cats – but I can’t get rid of Simba, and he’s grown on me.

We live in a tiny little town in Northern Minnesota. I have a love / hate relationship with this place.

As for life in general:

I currently hold two Criminal justice degrees (associate and BA) with minors in social work and Psychology. I live in an area that sucks when it comes to using those degrees and our little town doesn’t have many career opportunities available, so I do plan to move to a bigger area in the near future to be able to put those degrees to use.

We moved to Minnesota in 2020 to be closer to my oldest child who graduated high school in 2018 and moved here first, but Minnesota has been a nightmare of its own.

We absolutely miss where we came from (Chicago), and plan to move to a suburb of it if we do go back. Of course, nobody these days wants to move directly into Chicago because of everything going on, but the suburbs or close to it – a possibility we’re keeping in mind. Maybe even close to the border of Illinois – up in Wisconsin.

I’m weighing the pros and cons of each place I’m deciding on.

I currently work in a facility that houses the previously homeless, some drug and alcohol addicts, some recovering from drugs and alcohol, and some with mental health issues. The pay sucks and there’s other issues that create a stressful work environment there, but I stay because I love the tenants, and I’ve grown close to a lot of them.

They know I’m going to do whatever I can to help them, be there for them, and to bring the best attitude to work every day. They know I care, and they know they can count on me, trust me, and confide in me with anything. They know I’m going to go above and beyond for them – even when it means bending the rules and policies just a little bit if I can.

Hey, rules were made to be broken and not everything is all black and white, right?

I do whatever I can because we’re all human, and they’ve been through a lot. They are the reason I stay and continue to do the best job I can despite the pay, and sometimes – the nonsense that employees deal with. I love my job because of the tenants I deal with and have grown to know and love.

Life in general is kicking my ass – and my life right now is all kinds of messed up, but like my blog address says – I DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR THIS MESS. It’s bringing me through a lot of things that I know could be worse at the end of the day, and some of this mess I’m going through right now – is teaching me life lessons and struggles that I pray one day – I can say I have been blessed to get through.

I could cry and vent about the mess I’m going through right now, but I choose to see the beauty in it, and:

I have to find the message behind everything I’m dealing with.

So, join me and don’t be afraid to hit that follow, or subscribe by email – to come along with me on this journey as I find out what messages are behind my messes right now, and to see my stress, my struggles, my laughter through it all. To share in my funny stories, my wild adventures, my motherhood craziness, my stress, my battles, and every other thing I deal with daily – that I find the humor in.

Listen. You have to find the humor in everything, because if not – you’re going to lose your damn mind when life gets tough. 😁

Humor gets me through my tough times – as well as prayers – and a damn good bottle of red wine.

Besides life kicking my ass right now – and me not being sorry to admit it – if you’ve read this far – let me share a few more things about me before I end this.

My favorite colors are Purple and Yellow.

I love yellow and white roses, but if someone ever handed me a blue and yellow one, I’d love them forever. I want to see one of those customized ones.

I love all kinds of music. I grew up listening to old school country from my dad and his side of the family, so I still listen to all of that. I love new country as well. I love Bluegrass believe it or not, honky-tonk, outlaw country, etc. I also grew up listening to oldies because of my mom and her family, so I love Elvis, The Beatles, and so many others.

I listen to old school rap and hip-hop from the 90s, Alternative, Rock, classics, Jazz, Freestyle, Gospel, and stepping music. (It just depends on what I’m in the mood for). I love Chicago House music / Juke. I love classical music when I’m trying to relax and sleep at night. I’m not picky!

Movies – I could sit here and name so many that I absolutely love.

I love all different genres of movies as well. Some of my favorite movies though – include all of the Madea (Tyler Perry) movies, Jennifer Lopez movies (I don’t like her as a person, but she’s a great actress) in Enough, The Wedding Planner, Second Act, and others. I love the Christmas movie (Just Friends) with Ryan Reynolds and Amy Smart. I love (A Bronx Tale), Casino, Blood in / Blood Out, Empire with John Leguizamo and Deliliah Cotto, Mi Vida Loca with Seidy Lopez and Angel Aviles, and so many other great actors / actresses. I love Goodfellas, A league of their Own, Coyote Ugly (when I’m feeling girlie) 😁Voicemails for Isabelle is now on my top watch list, Coach Carter, Uptown girls, A thin line between love and hate with Martin Lawrence, all the Bad Boys movies with Martin and Will Smith, the very first 3 Fast and the Furious movies because they lost me after the 3rd one and should have stopped there, the Friday franchise movies with Chris Tucker and Ice Cube, and I love the ARE WE THERE YET / ARE WE DONE YET movies with Ice Cube and Nia Long. They’re coming out with a 3rd by the way.

I could sit here all day and share my favorite movies, but this could also get longer and we don’t need that.

These are just some of the great movies that crossed my mind.

……………………..

I love coffee in the mornings, and my kids say I’m a lot nicer with it. 🙂

I love long rides to nowhere just to change the scenery and get out of the house.

I love taking photos of sunrises and sunsets.

I love meeting new people and great conversations.

I love helping others, because I feel like if I’m the reason someone smiles – it heals a part of me if that makes sense (?).

I love cooking and baking. (Everyone loves my cupcakes and brownies).

I love to write (as you can see). I used to write skits and plays with my best friend in elementary school and part of high school. I used to keep journals and diaries when I was younger, and I used to write poetry, and look – now I’m here writing for all of you.

I love seeing and taking photos of abandoned places (warehouses, homes, churches, old farms and barns, etc). My kids joke that this is how I’m going to die one day – stopping to take photos of abandoned places. My older son once told me I’m going to end up stopping to take a photo on the side of a country road and wake up in some barn tied to a pole because I thought it would be a “great photo”, and thought it was an abandoned place – that some creepy dude lives in. 🤣🤣

See how dramatic my kids are? (ha). Seriously, I always love learning about abandoned places and what they used to be before nature took over. I like learning about who lived there, who went to church there, what things were – before they were abandoned. I like history, and what used to be.

My favorite foods are Hawaiian Pizza and Chicken alfredo.

I come from a huge family (aunts, uncles, cousins everywhere), and while we all don’t talk often and we don’t see each other a lot – I know that they’re there, I love them dearly, and life just got in the way. Still, I catch up with some of them when I can.

Oh. I also have two nephews that I absolutely love and adore and miss dearly since they live out in IL. and I’m stuck in Minnesota. (T.J. and Matthew). I have a niece that’s only a couple months old, and I haven’t met yet because my brother’s ex wants nothing to do with him or his family – so, I hope one day that changes and I get to meet and know my niece as she gets older. (Ella) – and no matter what – I’ll never stop trying to meet her and know her – even if it means waiting until she’s older to let her know, “Hey, you have an auntie here and I’ve always loved you!”.

I love good books, and my daughter can tell you that I’m always reading something or always at the library. You know what? Anytime I drag her to the library with me, she’s so understanding and patient and waits so kindly – for me to go through so many books. It’s almost hilarious at this point, and she knows as soon as I’m done picking out books, she gets ice cream or whatever at the end of it. I can easily get through a good book in 2 days tops. She calls me a “book nerd” and “book worm” and I’m okay with that truth! 😁📖

Besides that, I think I’ve written enough, so anything I haven’t added that you may want to know – just ask. I don’t mind sharing, and I’m always going to be real and honest about anything and everything because you know how it goes.

The older we get – the less we care about people knowing our truths. haha.

XOXO.