To answer today’s WP writing prompt – it would absolutely be the lesson of cherishing every great moment and every person you love while they’re still here.
Today is the 4th of July, and I used to take that for granted many years ago.
My oldest daughter was still alive.
My mom and dad were still alive.
My brother and his ex-wife were still together.
I was an auntie to two.
I still lived in Illinois.
4th of Julys used to look a lot different.
For the last few 4ths – everything was different.
My oldest was killed in a car crash with her girlfriend in 2021. She was the passenger.
My dad passed in 2023 from Cancer. My mom passed in 2024 from – what we can only assume was a heart attack, because no autopsy was done. She passed in an assisted living facility. We knew it was probably coming, but we didn’t know it would be that soon. She had just celebrated her 70th birthday. With my dad, he was in hospice for a while, so we knew for sure that death was coming.
My brother and his now ex-wife have since divorced, obviously.
My nephews live with their mother, and I’m now an auntie to three – however, I don’t get to see my niece. My brother’s now ex-fiancé – (a different woman) – wants nothing to do with my brother, so she has decided that includes his family. My niece’s family that she should know. I even sent her a huge box full of adorable baby stuff I picked out when my niece was first born, and a special gift for her, but I got nothing.
I’d love to spend the 4th with her.
My kids and I also now live in Minnesota.
So many things have absolutely changed from the 4th of July traditions I was used to.
We always went to my brother’s place for the 4th, and his wife (now ex) would always make sure I had a drink in my hand when I arrived. lol. My brother and I would joke around. She’d yell at him and tell him to leave me alone, and I’d threaten to kick his ass after I finished my drink. He’d make more jokes, and life was good back then.
My kids would be sitting around the table eating every snack in sight. Chips and dip. My mom’s famous Vegetable pizza, and whatever else was laid out for everyone.
My brother would be grilling, and my older son would be next to him helping or watching over the grill.
My mom and dad would argue about something every 4th of July, and we’d always giggle because it would be something so stupid, but I miss even that. 🤣 They’d both be aggravated with each other, and my dad would say, “Okay, okay!”, and end the fight – letting my mother have the last word, and my mother would look at me and say, “He loves to aggravate me!”. By the end of the night, they’d be sitting next to each other acting like nothing ever happened. ALMOST EVERY 4TH OF JULY!
My nephews would be in the kiddie pool or running around getting into mischief with my little dude, and my youngest daughter chased them around here and there.
We’d take selfies and photos with each other, and of the food.
We poured more drinks.
We joked around and shared so much laughter.
We recalled so many funny “Remember when’s”………..(memories), and we enjoyed each other’s company.
My brother would run in and get the fireworks as soon as dusk arrived, and we’d watch him blow them off in the alley, joking that the fire trucks needed to be on standby.
Once we watched him blow off his fireworks and then watched the fireworks that were lighting up the sky around us, we’d play music (usually country or oldies), sit and talk, laugh, and enjoy the night as it got later and later, and nobody wanted to say goodbye.
We had dessert, more drinks, and more fun.
I miss those days, and that’s how we spent many 4th of Julys.
That’s not something that will ever happen again with all of us there, and it sucks – but life has to go on right?
One lesson I have learned recently that shifted my perspective – is to love everyone so much while they are alive, take so many photos, tell them you love them, cherish them, take the time to look around and cherish each and every moment – because one day – they will be just memories that you wish you could relive one last time at least.
I smiled today as I thought of the past 4th of July’s and how much love, fun, laughter and good times we had.
I thought of the time my brother sat on the tailgate of his pickup truck one 4th, and I told him the burgers were going to burn – as he was jamming out to country music and drinking, and he told me he was going to make my burger extra dark and crispy to shut me up.
I thought of the time my brother sent me a photo of a big piece of wood he super glued wires and different fireworks to and asked what I thought would happen if he set the fireworks off like that. I laughed so much and told him I was going to take bets amongst our friends to see who would arrive first – the fire department, the ambulance or the police.
I thought about the 4th that my oldest kiddo and I got into this huge argument over something goofy, and at the end of the night, I asked if she wanted to go for a ride and have cake, and she laughed and said, “Hell yeah I do!”. She was 18 or 19 at that time I believe. Even those memories are funny now and I miss them.
I thought about many different things from past 4th of Julys that I could never get back, and memories of times that are long gone now, so please – take all the photos you need to with loved ones, cherish good moments before they become memories, and never take them or the people you love for granted because one day, you’re going to wish they were still here and those moments weren’t just memories.
I also love the memories of the 4th of July’s I’d stop by my best friend’s house.
Her mom would make Jello shots. They’d have the music on, and her dad grilled.
Thankfully, if I did go back to Illinois, I could still make more memories on the 4th will all of them.
Her family is like a 2nd family to me, and I know I’m always welcomed there. ❤️
My aunt and Uncle’s house – has become a new tradition on the 4th as well out in Illinois.
We’ve been there the last few 4ths, and I’ve been so grateful they’ve welcomed us into their home because the 4th is always a lot more fun ln a pool watching the fireworks above or hanging out with family.
So, even if we can’t do the old traditions anymore because some people that we love are gone now, and others moved on with their lives – we’ve created new ones and kept other old traditions alive as well on the 4th.
Unfortunately, we’re stuck in Minnesota this year, and nothing really happens in our little town.
The last few years, we’ve had a “no burn ban”, which also included fireworks, so we couldn’t shoot any off out here, but we haven’t heard of anything like that this year. Plus, we’ve had plenty of rain, so I got some Sparklers for the kids, some little pop-it’s for Elijah, and Frankie got a few of the spinning, colorful fireworks.
Nothing crazy because we still want to play it safe.
I made burgers for dinner and got some freeze pops I know my little dude loves, and cupcakes my youngest daughter enjoys.
You know the 4th wouldn’t be the 4th without S’mores! So, I had to get some stuff to make those as well.
My daughter LOVES S’mores!
One thing I truly am missing this 4th – is how the fireworks in Illinois always start weeks before the 4th, and on the 4th – they can start as early as 4 AM – and we’ll hear huge M-80’s being blown off. They can go all the way until 4 AM the next morning, and sometimes – for days after.
Out here in our little town, we hear none of that, and it’s dead. It’s so boring out here, so I’m a little sad tonight that I’m not back home in Illinois, but – it is what it is.
The night is almost over and I wish I was at my best friend’s house or my aunt and uncle’s waiting for the fireworks to begin as we chat, enjoy dinner together, and a few drinks with my aunt (me and her anyway), I have to make the best of being stuck out here and so far from everything and everyone I love out there.
Please – no drinking and driving tonight.
In many bigger cities and states – buses and trains are free tonight from what I’m hearing. Check your local transit center / site.
In many bigger cities and states, Uber and Lyft are offering discouts and vouchers tonight.
Or – if you can’t do any of those and you’re in a smaller area, many police officers who aren’t busy – will sometimes pick you up and safely get you home.
NO EXCUSES!
I love you all, and as the dusk approaches and the fireworks begin – keep having fun, keep enjoying the night, and stay safe. ❤️
I saw a post earlier from one of my good friends – who posted:
“Make sure you put a boot in someone’s ass today in honor of Toby Keith”.
I loved that and it made me smile, so in honor of one of my favorite country singers – T.K. ……………………(Rest in peace and this one is for you and America tonight). 😁
All my love:
❤️Shel❤️