What’s a small moment from your past that you still think about years later?
Family BBQs.
My family got together for BBQs often, and I miss those days so much.
Those were small moments from my past that I still think about years later.
BBQs have always been a great thing in our family, and it brought our family together many – many times over the years.
When I was growing up and even well into my teen and young adult years, my parents had BBQs in the backyard – with my grandma (who lived downstairs from us), my brother and I – and sometimes, other family members would stop by for a while.
We always had so much fun, and my dad would have country music blasting as he grilled.
He’d bring out the big cooler and fill it up with ice, different cans of pop, and beer, and my mom would be outside doing her word puzzles or reading magazines, or sometimes – just soaking in the sun waiting for the food to be done, as we sat and talked, laughed and enjoyed our family time.
I moved out of the house and had my own kids. My brother moved out of the house and had his own kids, but still – as we got older and my parents found a new place on the Northside of Chicago after my grandma passed, BBQs remained the one thing we could count on and look forward to.
It was the one thing that would slow the world down and allow us to just forget our troubles – even if it was just for the day.
My mom would call me and say, “Dads going to BBQ. Why don’t you bring the kids and come by?”. My kids loved family BBQ days. I’d get there and my brother, his wife at the time and their son would already be there, and his wife would ask if I wanted a drink because she already started.
I remember one time, she asked if I wanted to try “Kinky” – a drink she brought.
My brother grinned and told her, “Don’t do that! Don’t give my sister any Kinky, because then she gets Kinky and has another kid!”. I joked that he needed another kid and asked when he and his wife were going to give me another nephew or niece. Maybe he should be the one having a glass of Kinky.
I miss the jokes we all shared. The inside jokes. The goofy ones. All of it at family BBQs.
My mom would change the radio to oldies, and my dad would change it back to Country.
The kids would run around in the yard chasing each other, playing some kind of ball game, playing tag, or just sitting by the table eating chips and filling themselves up while waiting for the food to be done. Sometimes – my mother would take out a pool she purchased for them and have it filling up, or she’d go in it with them and enjoy the weather – and get a sunburn. (She didn’t tan). lol.
BBQ days were amazing, and while they were sometimes chaotic and crazy, and my parents would sometimes argue over the stupidest things – I even miss that. We’d laugh at their arguments and my mom would say, “He loves to argue”, when she started it sometimes. We’d laugh because at the end of the night, all was good.
We’d sit outside until it was late, and my mom made dessert most BBQ days, so we’d have that and swing on the swing they had in back – while talking, laughing, watching the kids finally settling down.
Then – we all hugged, said our goodbyes and left.
We had so much fun on BBQ days, and that’s a little moment in my past that I truly do want back.
I still think about those days, and all the fun we had.
My parents were getting older, so eventually – they moved in with my brother and his wife at their new place, and BBQ days were now over there in their back yard.
My brother would grill and many times – my older son would help him, while the kids ran around and played in the pool, or chased each other.
My brother and his wife had another kid, and life was good.
My parents still argued at BBQs we had, we still laughed about it, and we still had cold drinks in the coolers and music blasting.
4th of July BBQs was the best, and we always enjoyed watching the fireworks at night – as we cleaned up from the day.
We were all together, and life seemed a lot less crazy back then because we knew that no matter where we were in life, what was going on in our lives, or what directions life took us – no matter what curve balls life threw at us – we had each other and we looked forward to the next BBQ, and being together.
Life was good.
We had many BBQs and while these seemed like small moments back then …they feel huge to me now that I’m absolutely missing them.
Things have changed.
My oldest was killed in a car accident with her girlfriend in 2021.
My dad passed from Cancer in 2023.
My mom passed from what we think was a Heart attack in 2024.
My brother and his wife are now divorced and he’s married to someone new.
My brother and I no longer talk.
Life took us in different directions.
My other kids are older now. (23 and 18), and my little dude will be 10 soon.
They’re no longer the young kids they were many years ago – just waiting for another BBQ.
My brother’s ex-wife and I still talk. I still see my nephews, but we don’t do family BBQs anymore and I think the very last one we did – where everyone was alive, well and together – was right before I moved to Minnesota in 2020.
I didn’t know that would be the very last one, or I would have stayed longer. Cherished it more. Took many more photos with everyone and of everything if I had known it was the last one. 😌
I’d like to start the tradition of family BBQs with my kids, and hopefully if and when they have their own kids one day, we can make family BBQs a thing again, so they and their kids will hold the same small moments I do in their hearts, and smile. ♥️
So, that’s a small moment (that’s also huge to me now) from my past that I still think about.
I still laugh at some of the memories when I think back to those days, and I sometimes cry knowing it will never happen again with all of us – the way things used to be.
So, take tons of photos. Enjoy every moment. Every laugh. Every joke. Every memory … because you never know when it will be the last time you do something and it never happens again.
Have a beautiful weekend my loves!
🩵Shel🩵