What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?
Parenting!
Definitely.
When I was being raised, the world didn’t seem so dangerous and wild.
My parents let us run the neighborhood freely with the understanding that we would be home as soon as the street lights came on, and they always knew who our friends were, so they were sure we were usually at one of their houses.
They never checked. They just figured.
Many of our friends had the same freedom, and we rode our bikes around the neighborhood – getting into mischief and our parents didn’t have apps like life360 to check our locations.
They weren’t worried.
They didn’t panic.
Somehow – they just guessed we were safe, and we’d be home by curfew. 🤣
We’d run out the door and yell, “See ya later!”, and they’d say bye, but that was it.
They didn’t really ask questions, and we didn’t tell them much.
If I’m being honest, we probably rode our bikes further than we were allowed, and did things that would have gotten us grounded, but my parents back then – other parents back then – weren’t that strict.
These days…. We all know how insane, dangerous and wild the world is and my kids aren’t growing up in the safer world I had.
I’m not saying our generation didn’t face dangers, but it’s just not the same as when we were growing up, so yes….. I’m a lot more strict with my kids and no….they can’t just leave the house and hop in a car or on their bikes and expect me not to ask + who? What? Why? When? Where? How? What time will you be home?
I want those answers and I expect to know where they are, who they are with, what they are doing. Yes. I expect them to keep their life360 on, and I want to know their locations.
I worry.
I panic.
If they are even a few minutes late coming home, my (mother radar) goes up and I’m calling them over and over.
I expect them to get good grades and be polite.
I expect them to stay out of trouble and do the right thing ….always.
So, yes….I do parenting way different than my parents did, and if someone wants to call me too strict – too overprotective – so be it!
I’ve also seen things, been through things, and have done things that could have gotten me killed – (because weren’t we all thrill seekers back then?).
I’ve had to deal with things no child should ever have to deal with as well, so I think me being so overprotective of my kids now – comes with me under protected when I was younger.
Maybe I’m just crazy. 🤣 Still, I go crazy over my kids and I want to know that they are all good at the end of the day and they can see another day. 💜
I was allowed to do almost anything I wanted when I was being raised because my mother was always at work and my father didn’t really care what I was doing, but I always promised to be different with my kids, and to make sure they know I do give a damn, I do worry and they’re not going to do whatever they want – while they’re still under my roof.
Don’t get it twisted. Of course, they can have fun, go out and do things and live life like normal kids…but – I still need to know where, with whom, what time they’re coming home, and so on.
Say what you will – but I call it active parenting and for me – it works!
My kids have no complaints actually.
They’re good at keeping me informed and keeping my mind at ease. 😊
In other news…..
Let’s talk about Santa and the Elves. 🤣
So, my little guy was watching videos at 7 AM yesterday morning.
I looked at him because he was so quiet, and I saw him looking at me like:
I laughed because of the look on his face, and asked him why he was looking at me that way.
His reply?
“So, the elves aren’t real? Really mom? Really?”.
He was watching videos of parents moving elves around when their kids are sleeping, and parents who drew on their kids faces – pretending it was the elves at night.
I didn’t know what to say.
I tried so hard to play it off or come up with excuses, but I had nothing.
One thing my kids know about me – is that if they ask me a question, and they want to know if I’m lying or not, all they have to do – is tell me to “Say swear to God!”. They know if I say that, I’m telling the truth because I never throw God’s name into it if I’m telling a little white lie. (lol)
When I say “little white lie” – I mean the kind that doesn’t hurt anyone. Like me telling Elijah the elves and Santa are real. 😆
So, when he confronted me yesterday morning and told me to “Say swear to God”, I lost it. I started laughing so hard, and my older kids started laughing because of how much I was laughing and couldn’t help it.
He kept saying, “Really? Tell me the truth. Really?”.
I really had no idea what to say.
I told one of those little white lies and said those are just parents who are too tired to wait for their kids to fall asleep, so they just help the elves, and do things for them.
I tried to think of anything to say that would please him and stop the questions, but I was so lost, and it was hilarious!
I was stuck.
I looked at him like:
He had to get ready for school, so I grabbed his clothes and told him to do so.
He eventually forgot about the subject and stopped questioning me, thankfully!
Listen.
The fact is – he’s almost 10.
This is the age that most kids start questioning, stop believing, and find out that their moms and dads have stayed up super late all those years – moving the elves around, playing tricks with the elves, writing on their innocent little faces with the elves, and in some cases – even forgot to move the elves on some nights, so they have to make a mad dash rush to the living room or wherever the damn elves are – and throw them to see where they land – just to create that magic around the holidays – for their kids.
It’s true.
I’ve forgotten to move the elves on some nights, so there were early mornings I rushed to move them, or if my older kids saw that I forgot – they’d rush to move them for me and help me out.
It’s been chaotic the last few years around the holidays due to the whole Elf movement and tricks things, and sneaking gifts in from the trunk of my car “from Santa” – when Elijah falls asleep on Christmas Eve.
It wouldn’t necessarily be an awful thing if he found out right now that Santa and the elves aren’t real and we’ve been the ones playing tricks with them, and moving them all of these years.
However, I’m not ready to tell him that just yet.
I’d like at least one more Christmas with him being this innocent little boy who enjoys seeing what his elves have done the night before while he was sleeping.
I’d like at least one more Christmas where he gets excited to see Santa and makes a list for him. Although, last year – he didn’t want to see Santa, and I knew it may just be the start of him no longer believing.
I want him to remain the sweet little boy who loves tracking Santa on the Norad Santa tracker every Christmas Eve, and rushes to my bedside to let me know Santa came and brought so many gifts every Christmas morning.
I’m not ready to tell him the truth and lose all of that magic.
He’s my last baby, so once he stops believing and he knows the truth, I think my heart just may break a little bit. 💔
When he confronted me yesterday morning, I did go into this crazy laughter because I had no idea what to say, and part of me wondered if I should just tell him the truth right then and there, but another part of me decided against it – hoping for just one more Christmas – where I get to create that sweet magic for him.
Then again – it’s a whole different vibe and a whole new load of fun when they do stop believing and are old enough to know the truth.
My youngest daughter is now 18, and of course – she no longer believes, but she and I will still eat Oreos with milk, and sit together on Christmas Eve – watching the Santa tracker to see where he goes on it, because it’s just fun and it’s become a tradition for us.
She likes to catch him in Chicago and Puerto Rico.
The magic doesn’t have to stop just because they get older.
That’s when new traditions and a whole lot of new fun can begin.
We can still keep the magic going because really – it’s a feeling and not the belief itself.
For now though – I’ll keep the elves and Santa magic going, but next year may look different for us and he may not longer believe, so I’m going to make the most of the moments this year and count every blessing this holiday season.
I know he’s getting older and I can’t keep the truth from him much longer.
We have two elves. (Alex) and (Little Elijah).
They bring Elijah a gift every Christmas Eve and allow him to open just one or two.
We have had these two for years now, and I hope that when my kids get older and have their own kids, they come back for these two – and use them with their own kids to create their own magic, and continue traditions.
When this is all over and I no longer have to get up so early in the morning to rush to the living room, so Elijah can open gifts from Santa, or to move elves I forgot about the night before – I know my heart will break, and it will all just be good memories.
It will make me sad. It will be bitter-sweet.
No! I didn’t tell him the truth yesterday morning and I’m okay with that.
I want it to last just a little longer.
If you want to hear something hilarious – last year – as I just finished putting gifts under the tree from Santa that I had to sneak in from my car at Midnight, thinking my little dude was asleep – he woke up and came to sit with me in the living room.
I don’t think he saw me put the gifts under there, but I was a little disappointed that he already saw the gifts, and wouldn’t wake up surprised.
As I told him Santa just left and he needed to go back to sleep, we heard a loud THUD on the roof, and it was the perfect noise for the perfect “white lie”. lol.
Thankfully, he didn’t tell me to say, “Swear to God” at that moment. haha.
I was sure it was just all the snow falling or settling up there, but he totally believed it was Santa and the reindeers about to take off.
My daughter went along with it, as we both smiled at each other.
If you want to hear another hilarious story ……..
The beginning of this year – his friends were telling him Santa isn’t real, and my older son was great at telling him that his friends aren’t going to get a lot for Christmas since they don’t believe anymore. I told him not to say that, but my older son did convince Elijah that Santa was real, and Elijah said:
“I know he is, because I know mom can’t afford all the many gifts he brings me!”.
I don’t know if I was insulted, or humored, but part of me can’t wait until that kid grows up, and realizes how hard I worked my ass off – how many extra hours and long nights – to afford not only gifts from me – but those many gifts from Santa that this non-existant man gets credit for. 🤣
I hope one day, Elijah can look at me and appreciate that all those many gifts – were all me.
I just thought yesterday was funny and wanted to share.
Parents – if you have little ones who still believe and have a long time to go before they throw you questions, and wonder about the elves and Santa – cherish it for as long as you can and take so many photos – because it doesn’t last, and they do grow up and stop believing.
Enjoy the feeling of the magic while you can and if you’re the parents of older kids – create new magic and new traditions, and never let the feeling of the holidays and the magic of it – die out.
XOXO
🎄 Shel🎄