Do you think everything happens for a reason?
This question is the WP writing prompt for today and it made me giggle a bit.
How ironic that this would be the one today.
My car just broke down this week, and when I had it towed to a shop where they have great mechanics that work on foreign cars, I thought it was going to be a simple fix and at the most – a few hundred bucks if even that.
Imagine my shock when the main mechanic called me and told me $4,800.
I had to decide if it was even worth fixing or not, and I also had to make choices because if I don’t have it fixed and I live in this small little town – with everything and work being 30 miles away, I can’t do anything without this car.
Since the beginning of summer, I’ve said that I want to be out of this small little town by the end of the summer, and if I’m going to be without a car for a while, I need to be where everything is close together and I can walk or take Uber / Lyft until I get a new car. I need to be somewhere where I have a way to get to work, and a way to do everything else I need to do or get to places I need to get to.
Part of me was stressed, upset, bothered, annoyed and wondering what the hell I was going to do about this $4,800 bill for a car that’s probably not even worth fixing, and then I was talking to some good friends because if I don’t fix this car – again like I said – I can’t get around, or to work. You don’t work – you don’t pay bills, right?
A good friend of mine (Lily) said, “Well, I know this is hard on you, but let’s think about it! What if God is making you so uncomfortable in Minnesota, that he’s literally trying to push you to come back home to IL. and end this chapter of your life, so you can start your new one back where you have support, love, and people you know?”. She said when he’s about to close one door in someone’s life – he will make them uncomfortable and make their life difficult where they’re at – so that they want to make changes, move forward and help him open new doors.
She feels like God is making me uncomfortable for a reason, and I can’t say I disagree with her. Maybe that’s the case!
I had to laugh when I told her the Devil is kicking my ass and he’s winning, and she came back with, “Or – you can think of it like this! They say that the Devil doesn’t attack someone so hard unless there is something valuable there, or they’re about to find their happiness and he’s trying to stop it!”.
She told me, “Come home, Shel! You belong in IL. and there’s so many more opportunities”.
I’ve missed home, and being in this little town with absolutely nothing for us here has been a struggle. It’s hindered us in a lot of ways, and I had to laugh when my good friend (Ashley) told me, “Hey! You put it out into the universe about what you wanted when you said you wanted to move out of Minnesota by the end of the summer, and going into August there – you’re almost out of the summer season, so you manifested this! Ask and you shall receive! This could be the Universe giving you what you asked for!”.
She said it may not be the way I wanted it to go, or how I planned it – but God and the Universe are telling me it’s time. We shared a good laugh about it, and again – maybe she’s right, too! Maybe it is time to get out of this little town.
Maybe it’s time to let go of this car that has given me nothing but issues since I got it years ago, and get a new one.
Maybe it’s time to start the next chapter and finally get my career going in the field I want it to be in, and that only happens if I go where there’s better opportunities like Lily said and if I keep my Faith over my fears.
Ashley yesterday asked if I’ve been reading my Bible, and she’s on her journey to be closer to God – reading her Bible and writing down verses / scriptures to tape around her house. I told her I have not. She asked if I had a Bible. I told her I have a few (I do!). I told her they are in a bin in my closet somewhere, and she told me I need to take one out and get to reading my Bible, and find the verses that deal with fear, and trusting God.
Ashley was very serious about taking this as a sign from God – that it’s time to make changes and put my faith in him. That it’s time to let go of this place, and my life here and start over back home in IL. That it’s time to take chances and let God “teach me how to fly!”.
I know that my time in Minnesota has come to an end, and friends are right.
It’s time to go home.
There’s nothing for us out here anymore, and there’s no reason to stay, so what if God is using this car issue to make me uncomfortable, so I have no choice but to move somewhere where I can actually thrive and grow?! It’s a thought.
I’ve wanted to go back home for a while now, and now that my youngest daughter graduated high school, and my little dude is homeschooling this year, we have no more reason to stay stuck here, and if we continue to stay in Minnesota – in our small little town – we’re not going to get anywhere – anytime soon, and time is just going to pass us by – with no improvements, and with very little happiness.
I know what I have to do, but the fear is there and of course – there’s job hunting and looking for a new place to live out in IL. There’s moving trucks, and storage rentals for now, and so many other aspects that I’ll be working on today, and I pray everything goes well.
Yes. We will be moving, and I’ve made that decision already.
I think it will be good for our mental health because we’ve been so unhappy and unsettled here, and because there’s so much more in IL. to do – to see – and people we love and miss dearly – to be around.
My brother has talked about coming out here to help us get everything together and help us move back, and he’s even offered to let us stay with him until I find a place out there, but – let me tell you – as much as I appreciate him and his girlfriend for that – it’s not going to work.
Our three animals. His three animals. My three kids. His two boys, and his girlfriend’s two teenagers, and then all of us – it would be a total madhouse. Plus, he lives on the Southside of Chicago, and I joked that I’m “retired from the South”. 😁
Don’t get me wrong. I love the southside and they know how to party, but it’s not my vibe anymore. I want to be in a country setting with a little town feel – without actually being in the country or a little town if that makes sense.
My aunt and Uncle live in a beautiful little area and we’ll be staying somewhere around there.
So, we’re really making this move, and I’m excited, but I’m scared.
I’m really getting rid of “Maggie” – the car I’ve had for years now and have loved driving, but the same car that has drove me crazy with problem after problem.
I’m nervous.
I’m worried.
I’m praying so hard that God is in control of this move, and that everything is going to be just fine. ❤️ I pray we find a place with a lot of lighting because the one we have now – faces the parking lot and doesn’t let in much natural light. I pray I find a much better family SUV and not another small car like this one I have now, and I pray that IL. works out so much better for us than Minnesota did.
We moved to Minnesota because my oldest daughter moved here first when she turned 18, and when we visited her………………………………
(Imagine my sarcastic voice as you read this)……………………………………………
“The trees were so pretty, and the pine trees smelled so fresh”.
“The air was so clean, and we could see the stars so clearly with no city lights or streetlights”.
“There’s no traffic – like AT ALL – unless it’s a tractor here and there that we get stuck behind”.
“There’s so many lakes, and the closest one is 3 blocks down”.
“Oh my God! There’s cows next door and they sound so beautiful when they Moo!”.
And – there we so many other reasons we decided that we were going to live here one day, but once we got a taste of this little town life – we wondered what the hell we got ourselves into, and we regretted it only two years after moving here.
It’s hilarious because when I thought I wanted the country life – I went out and brought a Christmas ornament that says “Country girl” on it, and I joked with my kids that I’m tossing it in the garbage when I do decorate for Christmas as soon as we get a new place. 🤣
🎵 COUNTRY ROADS – TAKE ME HOME – to the place – where I belong! 🎵
So, this weekend – we’ll be packing up, getting rid of things we don’t need, use or want – and heading back soon.
I pray I’m making the right decision for myself and my kids. I know there’s better jobs, more money, and more things to do out there, and I’m excited about that.
I’m walking in faith right now and trusting God to let it all work out.
No. I don’t want my car anymore and I don’t want to pay the crazy $4,800 to have it fixed and still have more issues down the road like I’ve been having, and no. I don’t want to spend another year in Minnesota, so I almost feel like the good Lord is like, “It’s now or never!”.
I believe Lily and Ashley when they say maybe this is God’s way of saying – it’s time – and I’m going to roll with those positive thoughts, trust him, and hope that he’s making me this uncomfortable now – to get my ass moving and go back home to really truly be happy and live again – instead of struggling here and just ‘surviving’.
I will miss the frogs that sit on my patio at night and drive our cat crazy. lol.
I will miss the amazing people I’ve met here that have become a huge part of my life, and I know my daughter will miss her amazing friends. I know my little dude will miss his that he’s made here.
I will miss the woman who saved my life here – when I was at my lowest after my older daughter passed away. My Coffee pal. My sit and talk on the couch about everything and nothing pal. My laughing buddy. (Rachel).
I will miss good teachers at the school, and especially one who absolutely adores my Elijah, and he absolutely adores her.
I will miss no traffic, seeing tractors as soon as we turn the corner by our house, hearing the cows Moo next door, having the lake a few blocks down, and so many other things that made Minnesota beautiful.
I will not miss the lack of food choices, the 200 round-abouts, the clicky people, the gossip that spreads faster than wildfires in this little town, the huge spiders in the fall that like to attach themselves to the sides of the building (ha), everything closing at 8 PM or when the sun goes down, the fact that they do NOT sell wine in regular stores like Walgreens and CVS like IL. does, and I won’t miss the stress of everything being miles and hours away.
I’m going to love being back where we can see doctors a few days after we make an appointment and not months from whenever we call. I’m going to love that if one of us have to go to the hospital – there’s plenty of choices, rather than one hospital in the entire damn county. I’m going to love that the fact that my kids can see a dentist a few days after a phone call and again – not months in the future.
I’m going to love being able to see close family and friends whenever, and making new memories with them, taking new photos, etc. and actually having places to take the kids – that I don’t have to drive hours to. I’m going to love being around Mexican, Puerto Rican and Greek food places again, and having stores that sell things I want to learn how to cook.
I’m going to love – LOVE – LOVE – being home in IL. to actually be able to turn on 93.9 LITE FM on the radio and hearing Delilah again or hearing the team turn on the holiday lite – and not having to stream it from Minnesota.
I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!! *High pitched shhhhhhrrrrriiiieeeeeekkkkk*.
So, that’s exciting.
I think I’m making the right decision by going back, starting over, and just being home with loved ones.
The fact that I’ll be able to see my nephews whenever I want to and take them out and possibly see and get to know my niece if her mother allows – even better!
I can think of 100 reasons to be happy to move back home and let this place go, and only a few reasons to stay here in Minnesota, so the PROS right now – outweigh the cons of packing up and going back.
Part of me wants to believe that my car breaking down was a blessing in disguise and I’m taking it as one now, because if my car didn’t break down and it wasn’t so much to fix and not worth it – I wouldn’t have realized that there are so many pros of just heading back.
There were two other times that I felt like maybe we should go back, but I forced myself to stay, and Ashley feels like this is God’s way of getting my attention for the 3rd time – and told me to pay attention this time.
Did I mention that she’s on her God journey?
I’d like to think she’s right about everything, and again – I just pray my decision is the right one and we live happily ever after back home.
Pray for me and my kids as we go back and start fresh in our state. ❤️
So, do I believe everything happens for a reason?
Yes. Just like I believe my car breaking down – forced me to realize that it’s time to go home and get a new car on top of it. A more reliable car that isn’t giving trouble every other month.
When things go bad, or don’t work out the way you want them to – believe everything is for a reason, and things work out the way they should…………..
God knows what he’s doing up there. 😊
XOXO
😊Shel😊